It Had To Be You
by Maura Maud Jadeit
Summary: Sometimes you don't realize what's right in front of you until it's too late. Sometimes you realize it just in time to catch it before it will disappear. Slash
1. Chapter 1: Late Night Guest

**Title:**It Had To Be You

**Warnings:**Slash. Spoilers up to the end of sixth season.

**Pairings:** Hotch/Reid

**Summary:** Sometimes you don't realize what's right in front of you until it's too late. Sometimes you realize it just in time to have it.

**Word count**: Under 1000 and going up.

**DISCLAIMER**: The Mark Gordon Company, ABC Studios and CBS Paramount Network Television own Criminal Minds. I just took them out to play and I promise put them back when I'm done.

_Feedback is welcomed with open arms._

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><p><strong>It Had To Be You<strong>

**Chapter one: Late Night Guest.**

"It's you, isn't it?"

Reid's voice always carries his emotions in undertones. Joy, excitement, worry, sadness, despair. He is different with unsubs he negotiates with, sometimes he is downright emotional, sometimes he is stone-cold logical and assertive.

The emotion echoing in Reid's question is profound sadness and resignation. Too much had happened in past year in their lives, too many changes, too many sorrows, too many goodbyes which Reid abhors.

The arrival of Ashley Seaver could not outweigh JJ's abrupt departure and Emily's death. Not even if Emily herself is secure in Paris. Besides Seaver's future in BAU is under questioning, hers the most from the others.

Aaron knows that Andi Swan has hers eyes on the girl and he also know that what Andi wants Andi will eventually get and even if she doesn't want to go Seaver will go because Dave's connections won't keep her in BAU for long and Dave knows that.

For Morgan is waiting the field office in New York and even if Aaron knows that Morgan is going to say 'no' it's a very alluring offer but they cannot force him to leave unless he doesn't want to.

For Penelope there is an offer with upgrade of her official capacities. From Technical Analyst to Special Agent in Cybernetic Crime. The pay is better, hours are stable. That's the price she has to pay for stepping up. Assertive, driven and vibrant Coordinator of Behavioral Analysis Units. Her position is new, innovative and interesting. Even Strauss praised her drive and a praise from Erin Strauss is a huge one because she doesn't give it often or lightly. Strauss herself isn't planning to let her go but the offer is still an offer and it has to be presented to her for her consideration.

Dave will survive an earthquake. He is too firmly rooted in BAU to be moved elsewhere if he doesn't want to go. There are offers. Of retirement, of leading another unit in BAU. Dave will go when and where he wants to and because he doesn't he won't.

For Reid awaits a position of Unit Chief in White Collar Crime. Keller has been dropping less than subtle hints for a while that the unit would need splendid analyst and great psychologist, doctor of mathematics would be greatly welcomed also a profiler in charge will affect the number of solved cases drastically. It's an upgrade on everything, paycheck, status and in few years maybe another promotion to Section Chief. And if that one isn't alluring enough then there is a position of Unit Chief in Ethics and Internal Affairs Unit in Los Angeles field office. There are other offers but Bureau made it clear to CIA, Interpol and Pentagon that if they want a genius then they should look for one on their own and not steal their employees.

The looming shadow on Aaron's horizon is the position of Section Chief of BAU because the shadow looming over Strauss is promotion to assistant director or the offer of retirement. He has been also given the same offer as Reid but with another unit. Either way his hours will be stable, he won't have to travel much, he will have more time for Jack which is important right now because Jack is heading to school in the fall.

He should be happy, except he is not.

He shouldn't be sitting by the kitchen table, eying his cup of tea (because it's too late for coffee) because Reid came to his flat worried and anxious and Aaron knows where this path can lead, worry and anxiety can quickly turn into cravings and Reid had been clean for four years and he barely started to recover from the depression over Emily's death.

"There are offers," Aaron says softly. "Everybody has them, Reid. You too."

Reid snorts into his tea before he puts the cup back on the table and says, "I get them more often than you think and for longer than you had been hearing. But that I have them doesn't mean that I want to accept them. Occasionally I go to dinners when I feel really low and I want to remember why I'm still here. It's nice to hear compliments while eating in restaurants above my pay grade. But every time I say that I will think about the offer I was presented with I remember why I'm doing what I do. It's who I am and accepting any of those offers would be denying integral part of myself. I know that I can deny cravings, I can deny urges but denying why I wake up in the middle of the night after only one ring is not something I can deny for a long time because if I will start to deny it I will concentrate my full strength on denying and there won't be any left to deny the others. I know that's what is going to happen, Hotch."

"You don't have to convince me of that, Reid," Aaron says simply.

"I don't," Reid says with heavy sigh. "You already made up your mind, I can see that," he adds as he stands up and painstakingly slowly puts his jacket on. "Thanks for the tea, Hotch. I will see myself out."

The distance between the table and the door isn't long but Reid's movements are slower than usual, his shoulders are slumped, head slightly bowed.

"Reid?" Aaron calls after him when Reid's hand rests on the door. "What you want?"

"It doesn't matter," Reid says in resignation. "What I want I'm not going to get. Bye Hotch."

And though the door only click after Reid for some reason the sound of it is as deafening to Aaron's ears as if Reid just slammed them shut.

Aaron doesn't understand it at all.

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><p><strong><em>Feedback is love.<em>**


	2. Chapter 2: Smokescreen

**Title:**It Had To Be You

**Warnings:**Slash. Spoilers up to the end of sixth season.

**Pairings:** Hotch/Reid

**Summary:** Sometimes you don't realize what's right in front of you until it's too late. Sometimes you realize it just in time to have it.

**Word count**: Under 1000 and going up.

**DISCLAIMER**: The Mark Gordon Company, ABC Studios and CBS Paramount Network Television own Criminal Minds. I just took them out to play and I promise put them back when I'm done.

_Feedback is welcomed with open arms._

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><p><strong>It Had To Be You<strong>

**Chapter two: Smokescreen.**

Next day Aaron wasn't getting any closer to fully understand what happened last night. What he knew however was that whatever happens to be affecting Reid the genius happens to be very good at hiding it from the others.

Reid smiled at something which Seaver just said and whatever it was caused Garcia to whack him across the head with partly rolled up file Aaron asked her to bring him. Then she said something which left Reid blushing furiously before she stormed up to Aaron's office with the file in hand.

It was only after the bullpen cleared off moderately and Reid's quadrant got empty when Aaron saw that Reid allowed himself to slump in his seat. His posture changed slightly five minutes later when Morgan came in and started his biweekly ritual of _let's coax Reid out and drag him to a club_. The ritual itself dates back to Reid's early days in BAU and Reid reacts predictably. Two times no, one time yes and once again from the beginning in the same pattern.

Aaron remembered that Reid succumbed to Morgan's plead two weeks ago which means that this time it was time for no. Reid reacted predictably, he shook his head. Morgan tried to coax him for few minutes longer and finally walked away with surprised expression on his face.

Aaron cornered Morgan in the break room after his last meeting after lunch.

"He said no, didn't he?" Aaron asked curiously.

"He has a date," Morgan quipped. "First date and if you or Garcia show up to thoroughly embarrass me I will replace your reports with Japanese porn magazines and I will hide the real ones where you least expect. Curiosity compels me to go and check on him but he has been antsy all day so I'd rather stay away."

"Japanese porn?" Aaron frowned.

"I don't want to know," Morgan shook his head.

Then the first part sunk. Reid had a date and so did Aaron. Damn Jess.

Okay, not really damn Jess. She has been great friend to him and Jack adores her. Especially after Haley died he grew fonder of her and her support to both Jack and himself had been gigantic and if Aaron had to give her a label, not that he believes in labels she would be patient and extremely supportive sister. Annoying one on that.

About three months ago Jess decided that it was the highest time for Aaron to start dating again. He disagreed, she pressed a bit harder and they finally settled on one outing per month. One evening out wouldn't kill him not that the women he had been set up with were really interesting.

And if Morgan didn't mention that Reid has a date Aaron wouldn't remember that he agreed to meet one of Jess's colleagues for dinner. Luckily Jack has prescheduled sleepover with one of his friends from kindergarten.

Two and half of hour later he was seated at Martin's Tavern. It wasn't exactly an establishment he would frequent for dates but Jess said that Marissa loves the tavern and Aaron decided that at the very least one of the would be comfortable there.

He wasn't complaining. They had a good ale and the waitress approached him trice in fifteen minutes about further orders even if the place was slightly cramped.

Marissa was running late and it was the only thing that stopped him from ordering. He wasn't worried because it was just five minutes and even if it makes bad impression Aaron understood that she might have been held up at the office and most probably was stuck in traffic.

So he settled himself at admiring the view outside and eying the door.

Long time ago he used to love Georgetown for its unique character.

Then he frowned.

He would have recognized this untamed mane everywhere even… or rather when it happens to be hidden behind a book entitled 'Eastern Sexual Traditions'. Well it explained Japanese porn. Reid never done a research by half and when he started one he always went all the way, and sometimes beyond.

Unlike Aaron who was dressed in his best casual suit Reid was dressed normally. In fact he looked as if he came into the tavern straight from the office. Without looking he sat down at the reversed table between Aaron and the door and continued reading until the same waitress who approached Aaron approached him.

"Two pints of Guinness, Agnes," Reid said without looking. "And onion rings."

"Have you ever thought about the office?" Agnes quipped.

"Yes I did," Reid said simply. "I don't like it, it smells like hospital and the food there tastes like cardboard box."

"Hungry and snappy," Agnes said. "Delmonico?

"Meatloaf," Reid quipped. "And I heard something about salmon but I wouldn't be putting any body parts on the line. Nice try by the way."

"I'll be right back," Agnes smiled before she wandered away.

Reid kept reading his book for next three minutes until Agnes came back with Guinness. He thanked her with small nod and resumed reading.

Marissa still had failed to arrive so Aaron concentrated his attention again on Reid.

Reid's shoulders were tense and he looked like he was waiting for someone.

Aaron was about to call out to him to come and sit with him when the door dinged and Reid shot up into properly seated position.

The woman who made Reid change his position wasn't one Aaron expected Reid to get along with. For starters she was dressed absurdly casually, she didn't have even a hint of makeup and her hair looked as if they were still wet from a recent shower.

It wasn't a first date. In fact it might not have been a date at all.

"You are late," Reid chided her.

"Good evening to you too," she quipped as she sat down in the opposite seat. "ER shift, five years old puked on me. How was your day?"

"Splendid," Reid snorted. "Better than yours at the very least. But in overall not that good," he added with a sigh.

"No change?" the woman asked

"Nothing," Reid sighed. "Am I closet masochist?"

"You are closet something," the woman smiled quickly. "Speaking about the closet have you opened the door?"

"I did. I opened and closed them so fast that I slammed myself in the face with them," Reid muttered. "I admitted to Morgan that I can get a date. I'm being ridiculous am I not?" he asked with a defeated sigh.

"Modern society relays on their shrinks," the woman said simply. "Some even marry them."

"Then said shrinks under the avalanche of problems of their spouses go to see other shrinks, divorce their spouses, marry their shrinks and so on and on and on," Reid grumbled.

"It's quite apocalyptic scenario don't you think?" the woman asked before she took a sip of her ale.

"Well at the very least it won't occur here," Reid sighed. "Not without very deep hypnosis and it had been scientifically proved that with some problems even hypnosis can deal."

"You are admitting to defeat on the other front," the woman said.

"I tried to work around it you know," Reid shrugged. "I really tried but every time I approached the point … I found myself asking what in the name of Einstein I was doing there. They weren't bad, they were nice, some funny, some not. They just weren't right and what they offered wasn't what I wanted. They weren't him."

"I know," the woman said compassionately. "How long it had been?"

"From the very beginning? Eight years, four months and two days. Since I knew for good? Four years, three months, four days. It's never going to work and yet… Instead of recovering and moving on I'm still holding onto little things, still hoping that one day things are going to change. But they won't."

"They won't for as long as you still remain in the sidelines," the woman said.

"I won't be rejected as long as I will remain in sidelines," Reid sighed. "I still have hope in sidelines. Or rather I used to have hope in sidelines. Now… I don't have it either. Things are starting to change."

"With you?"

"With all of us," Reid shook his head. "I've got a job offer from with White Collar Crime, Unit Chief with the prospect of becoming section chief in few years."

"Are you going to take it?" the woman asked skeptically.

"Hotch left early today," Reid changed the subject. "And if he didn't I would be sticking around until he would. In his in-box along with my reports lays my letter of resignation from BAU, request for transfer to white-collar crime and a permission slip for two weeks worth unpaid leave effective immediately."

"You won't last long in White Collar," the woman said.

"At this rate I won't last long in BAU either," Reid said bitterly. "It's officially over, Cameron. I'm finished, I'm done, I quit, I concede. I want to move on. I want to be happy and I'm not going to wait for Godot to finally realize that someone is waiting. I waited long enough. I'm not a doormat to be walked upon back and forth. And if it will shock all of them? I say good. I gave enough and I finally want something to take. I finally want something to myself."

"Do you want to head out?" the woman asked. "Chuck popcorn at ducks in the park?"

"I'm making a scene," Reid said sadly.

"You aren't making a scene, Reid," the woman shook her head. "You are hurting and you need to get away for a while. You can start now."

They left the money for drinks and uneaten onion rings on the table and left the tavern leaving Aaron completely confused.

It wasn't right. He can't understand it. Before Elle left there were signs… Before Gideon left there were signs… Before Haley left there were signs. There were no signs with Reid.

Only this resigned, defeated, "What I want I'm not going to get. Bye Hotch."

Then it sunk. It was both a sign and a goodbye.

When Aaron rushed out onto the street Reid and his companion were already gone.

Gone…

"No," Aaron whispered. "Not this time. Not this fucking time."

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><p><em>Feedback is love.<em>


	3. Chapter 3: Butt Planted

**Title:**It Had To Be You

**Warnings:**Slash. Spoilers up to the end of sixth season.

**Pairings:** Hotch/Reid

**Summary:** Sometimes you don't realize what's right in front of you until it's too late. Sometimes you realize it just in time to have it.

**Word count**: Around 6000.

**DISCLAIMER**: The Mark Gordon Company, ABC Studios and CBS Paramount Network Television own Criminal Minds. I just took them out to play and I promise put them back when I'm done.

Author's note: Large part of this particular chapter was written with second chapter and I had no problem with that part. It was the second part that proved to be problematic and the way it turned out after bouncing it against the wall took a while. But as it is I'm rather proud of it, and for the record I'm still not done because this story has an ending I wouldn't give up for the world. So yeah there will be chapter four and hopefully you won't have to wait six months for it.

_Feedback is welcomed with open arms._

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><p><strong>It Had To Be You<strong>

**Chapter three: Butt Planted.**

Reid wasn't at home, Aaron checked. Inside and outside. Of course breaking and entering was invasion of Reid's privacy but Reid lost that right in the moment he decided to pull Gideon and Aaron was going to make sure that Reid knew it.

Reid's security system fully deserved the adjective shitty and for a terrace house in Georgetown it was saying something. Aaron didn't have to look long for spare keys. Two deadbolts and one standard lock, the keys were on the drive wall hidden behind a lose brick. Standard. Pedestrian. Un-Reidish.

Aaron disarmed the code on the first try. Reid mother's birthday. He closed the door the same way he found them and planted himself on the stairs.

Reid was leaving BAU. Reid was leaving BAU. Reid. Was. Leaving. BAU. Fuck!

He didn't know why this realization was angering him so much.

Aaron couldn't imagine BAU without Reid. He just couldn't. Reid's empty desk, next to Emily's empty desk. No dusty tomes spread across it. No post-it notes on the walls. No pens discarded across it. No card-houses on a slow day. No physic magic. There will be no more of sharing Reid's highly guarded stack of Kopi Luwac over Garcia's cookies. No more arguments over definitions of academic terms, no more discussions concerning pop-culture references Reid refused to get or just pretended to not get for the sake of amusement. There will be none of it because there won't be Reid.

The bullpen will be empty. Really empty.

That's how he felt. Empty.

The emptiness that wrapped around Aaron terrified him. Technically he shouldn't compare the feeling caused by Reid's sudden transfer out of BAU to Haley moving away from home but irrationally it felt just the same.

_Empty. Shallow. Something was missing._

He had time to mull over the conversation he overheard. The tidbits, the implications.

From the way Reid was speaking Aaron was able to pick out the defeated resignation, desperate anger, the same one that accompanies unreturned love. Unreturned love for a man.

Eight years, four years. He didn't know what those dates meant. Not yet. But he had time. If Reid was planning to leave DC then he had to return here first. His go-bag was still by the stairs and heavier luggage wasn't packed either.

Eight years ago Reid was bright-eyed rookie, Aaron's rookie to be exact. He was a _pain in the ass I will question you until your brain fries_ type of rookie. He was good though. Empathic, understanding, likeable, funny and curious… godsend even if Aaron considered himself as an atheist.

He drove them nuts and he drove them forward. His roots in BAU weren't as deep as Aaron's or Dave's but in many ways Reid tramped over Morgan, even if he had been in BAU six months shorter.

Four years ago Reid was recovering from Georgia and still on drugs.

Georgia. Tobias Hankel. Aaron sending Reid with JJ to interview a witness and instead… Images of Reid being beaten by the psychopathic personality of Hankel's father, sociopathic wannabe archangel with a revolver pointed on Reid's head asking him to chose.

_Empty shack… Shallow grave… Reid's form hunched over Hankel's body. Aaron pulling him into standing position and that desperate hug and..._

_"I knew you'd understand…"_

He did then. He didn't understand it now.

Why unreturned love to a man was a reason for Reid to leave BAU?

Had it been someone he'd meet after Georgia? Someone from NA? No, it didn't make sense.

_Eight years. Four years._

Where was that hypocritical little shit? Still chucking popcorn at ducks? And that woman he had been with was supposed to be a shrink? Where she had found her diploma, in the garbage can or in a cornflakes box?

When his phone rang Aaron almost jumped. The house was too quiet, too dark, too empty...

He looked at the caller's id which read:_ Jess_.

"Hotchner," he said tersely.

"Listen Aaron," Jess said quickly. "Marissa just called, she was held up at the office and she isn't going to make it."

"It's fine," Aaron shrugged. "In fact something came up that requires my attention."

"A case?" Jess asked quickly.

"No," Aaron denied. "Team-connected."

"Did something happen?" Jess's voice sounded slightly alarmed.

"You can say so," he sighed. "Reid is leaving BAU, coward style. Transfer to White Collar Crime Unit and unpaid leave. I'm hoping to knock some sense into him."

"Why it bothers you so much, Aaron?" Jess asked calmly.

"It bothers me because just two days ago I asked whole team that if they will have offers then they should come to talk with me. I hate being blindsided, Jess," he hissed. "And Reid possesses an uncanny ability to blindside me, with bad results."

"And you have an idea what's it all about?"

"Somewhat," Aaron muttered. "He is gay, in love that isn't returned and he doesn't want to be a doormat."

"No one does, Aaron," Jess chided him. "Especially when they are holding onto something for a very long time. Maybe the man he is in love with just doesn't see what is in front of him."

"You don't know that," Aaron huffed.

"You are right, I don't," Jess admitted. "But I can relate. Life is too precious to concentrate on proper, on denying things we want, especially when they aren't hurting anyone."

"It doesn't bother me that he is in love with a man, Jess," Aaron snorted. "He can sleep with whomever he wants."

"Apparently that's his problem," Jess said pointedly. "He wants to sleep with someone who might not acknowledge it as a possibility. But hey, I'm a lowly nurse, not a certified psychologist."

"You are the best nurse I know," Aaron sighed.

"I'm the only one nurse you know, Aaron," Jess chided him. "Do you trust me, Aaron?"

"What kind of a question is that?" Aaron asked skeptically.

"I like you and you are great friend Aaron," Jess said. "Better brother than the one I'm supposed to have… I had a talk with Tom this afternoon and apparently I'm not his sister any longer and I'm forbidden to approach him, his wife or his kids, especially his kids and under no circumstances his wife."

"What happened?" Aaron's voice was controlled but he couldn't stop worry from overtaking his mind.

"Nothing, really," Jess's voice sounded. "I invited them for Independence Day, dinner, fireworks, meeting my girlfriend. We have been together for a while and I wanted to make things a little more official… Does I bother you?"

"Of course not," Aaron protested. "Why it would bother me?"

"Reid does," Jess pointed out. "Which makes me curious. Why does it bother you so much?"

"Because he is a good agent…"

"Agent-schmagent," Jess snorted. "You are pissed off. I know you, Aaron. If it was just about the job you would be coming home, or offering to visit me to cheer me up. If you are starting to think about it, I suggest you don't because I'm not sleeping in my bed tonight and cheering up party will arrive soon. I can bet that if you managed to break into Reid's house you are sitting somewhere with a clear view at the front door, ready to chew him off when he will come and if you didn't you are sitting in front of the front door and ready to do the same. Am I close?"

"No," Aaron lied.

"This is personal, Aaron, this isn't the job and that's why you are angry," Jess said simply. "My question again is, why?"

"I've got to go," Aaron muttered. "Talk to you later. Have fun."

"Don't worry, I will," Jess quipped. "Have a good night."

He hung upon her just in the right moment. Five seconds later the key clicked in the lock, then in another and in another.

Reid went for security alarm right away in dark and Aaron practically could see him frowning. The alarm was disarmed but the door were locked.

"Your security system committed a suicide," Aaron said tersely.

Reid's hand reached for the light switch and after two seconds of blindness Aaron was able to see that Reid's hand rested on his revolver. Good reflex.

"Hotch?" Reid asked nervously. "What you are doing here?"

"Admiring your front door in the dark," Aaron snapped. "I have a fetish for the front doors. Especially the front doors of my agents who are pulling a Gideon."

"I don't understand," Reid shook his head quickly.

"You don't?" Aaron asked sternly. "How about the request for transfer to White-Collar Crime along with request for immediate leave which I found laying on my desk? They have your name on it. Unless BAU have more than one Doctor Spencer Reid… Oh, I forgot, we might not have one any longer."

"Sod off," Reid snapped.

"You are running away without giving us any reasons for leaving, Reid. Have you said goodbye to everyone or it had just been me?" Aaron snapped back.

"I'm not running away," Reid growled.

"You don't? It looks like you do," Aaron snorted. "But go ahead, be a doormat with a different door."

Reid paled, he was always pale but as soon as Aaron said it he practically went white. Aaron stood up from the stairs and started approaching Reid slowly.

"Is it really worth it?" Aaron asked. "Is eight years of experience worth throwing it to the wind for a guy who doesn't want you?"

Reid paled even harder, something Aaron didn't think was possible and Aaron pretty much had backed him into a corner.

Except it wasn't enough. Aaron wanted to shake him until Reid's senses would come back to him. He wanted some goddamn answers. He wanted…

Reid's eyes were wide open with fear and dilated. He pressed himself against the wall and he looked at the door as if he was calculating the odds for escape.

Aaron wasn't planning to let him. He wasn't planning to leave Reid's house without answers.

One step. Two steps. Three steps and Reid didn't have any way to escape now because Aaron was towering in his personal space. He was able to see how uncomfortable it was for Reid, how his breathing got labored, how his shoulders tensed, his eyes fluttered shut.

Aaron leaned even closer so his lips were barely two inches away from Reid's right ear as he said, "Is this what you want, Reid? Is it what you really want? The emptiness your absence is going to leave behind?"

Aaron's hands lowered slowly to rest on the wall next to Reid's head and Aaron could practically feel Reid's shiver.

"All of this for someone who can't appreciate you? Who doesn't want to appreciate you?" Aaron breathed into Reid's ear. "Answer me, Reid!"

He pulled his head away just enough to watch Reid's face when he answered but Reid didn't answer. He just stood there, pressed against the wall, breathing heavily with his eyes closed, lips slightly parted.

Aaron could recite whole _Divine Comedy_, in Latin, and backwards and Reid wouldn't react, wouldn't move, wouldn't speak, wouldn't open his eyes.

It was a mad idea but in the moment it entered Aaron's brain it was the only idea he had to have Reid react in any way and he already was on the verge of losing Reid for good.

He left his hands where they rested next to Reid's head but then he slowly moved his own head a bit to the right and breathed the air through his nose before he pressed his lips against Reid's knowing that if that wouldn't get him any reaction then nothing would.

Reid's lips were soft against his own and tasted of sugared coffee and rich cherries and Aaron realized to his surprise that the former he expected but the later he did not and yet the combination was so sinfully tasty and so quirkily Reid that Aaron couldn't resist more of it and he sucked on Reid's bottom lip to get more of this wonderful taste.

Rapidly Aaron was becoming aware that while Reid tasted like coffee and cherries he smelt differently, like green apples with a whiff of vanilla smoke clinging to his hair, cigarettes that were not his own because Reid himself didn't smoke.

Reid's scent and taste made such heady combination that Aaron breathed again through his nose and he pressed his mouth against Reid's even harder getting more of cherry flavored coffee taste of Reid's lips and saliva and this time all reservations Aaron might have until this very moment had just flew out of the window.

He needed more than taste, more than smell. He needed contact, needed Reid pressed against his own body, he needed to feel Reid's warmth to keep this slowly rising flame in his gut fueled and spreading all over his body.

He leaned into Reid's body even closer, even harder, pressing Reid to the wall behind his back even more, alternatively nipping and sucking on Reid's bottom lip. Then Reid opened his mouth even more and Aaron went after this wonderful, sinful, heady taste even harder.

He realized dimly that Reid's arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him even closer to his thinner body, even closer to that sinful, wonderful mouth that was robbing all coherent thought from Aaron's brain with every breath Aaron let into Reid's mouth.

Sweet God who would be so foolish to not want this, to not want Reid, to not want that heady combination of sweet coffee, cherries, green apples and dust from the books that was practically coursing through Aaron's blood by now, combination that made him higher than a kite and left him yearning more.

He needed more than the taste, more than smell, more than just the warmth of Reid's body through two barriers of clothing. He needed to feel the flex of muscles under his fingertips, he needed to feel real warmth of Reid's body against his own.

Aaron's right tight slipped between Reid's legs on its own accord and he rubbed it against Reid's crotch. Aaron's action extracted from Reid's mouth a muffled whine that went straight to Aaron's head and then directly to his cock just as Reid strengthened his hold on Aaron's shoulders and opened his legs a little more.

He was drowning in Reid, drowning in everything that was Reid and at the same time he just couldn't get enough of him. His right hand dropped to Reid's ass and Aaron pulled him even more closer as his mind registered that Reid had a very nice ass, not overly big, not overly muscled but just right and firm enough to squeeze, which Aaron did.

He was rewarded by a second whine just as muffled as the first but Reid dropped his hands from Aaron's shoulders to Aaron's collar where his fingers started the job of unbuttoning Aaron's shirt.

They were delicate, teasing and patient and patient right now wasn't Aaron. He let his hands settle on slightly bunched material of Reid's white shirt where it disappeared in Reid's slacks before he pulled at it hard and once the shirt was out of Reid's pants Aaron moved his hands to the front and pulled the shirt with his both hands tearing it apart.

The loss of the barrier opened before Aaron new realm of possibilities, the uncharted territory of Reid's body, the curves of muscles, valleys of ribs, peeks of nipples and Reid...

Only a fool wouldn't want it, only a fool would have refused it and only a fool would not size what was in front of him, keep it firmly in both hands and guard ferociously like the world's most precious treasure.

Aaron Hotchner wasn't a fool and he vowed to himself to chase away from Reid's memory, from his mind the looming shadow of the idiot who did not deserve Reid. Neither did Aaron, he knew that deep inside, he did not deserve it, didn't deserve Reid but knowing that you didn't deserve something doesn't stop you from wanting it regardless and Aaron wanted Reid.

It was this simple, he wanted Reid and he wanted Reid to want him too.

He wrapped his arms around Reid's middle, pulling him closer and closer until their bodies blended together, trapping Reid's hands between them until they sneaked once again around Aaron's neck and shoulders.

Aaron gentled the kiss to simple caress of lips against lips, savoring and dragging out every second into eternity and beyond and letting Reid to calm his rapid breathing, letting him relax the strained muscles of his back except they didn't stop straining and his breathing didn't level out.

The realization that descended on Aaron made him all but grin. He brought Reid this far with a kiss. How far he would be able to bring him with more touch than hands pressed to the small of his back? How many whimpers he would be able to get out of him with more than a simple cares of his hand? How Reid would react if Aaron pressed his hand to his cock? How beautiful he would be stretched out underneath Aaron, slim, sinewy... so gorgeous as Aaron would be sliding in and out of him. How even more heartbreakingly beautiful he would be pushed over the edge of his orgasm?

He didn't remember anything like that happening before with any other woman he had been with and he didn't really remember when was the last time he felt so incredibly turned on and at the same time even more terrified.

Eight years, four years. He understood it now. Resigned 'What I want I'm not going to get', the need leave, the goodbye, the anger.

"What you want Reid?" Aaron asked softly, dotting every word with soft kiss to Reid's jaw. "The truth, tell me the truth. I need to hear it."

"I..." Reid gasped and he licked his bottom lip. "I want..." he whispered as he closed his eyes and opened them again as he whispered even more softly, "You."

This time when Aaron dove in with a kiss he wasn't gentle, he crushed his mouth against Reid's, biting, nipping, sucking at his lips and tongue and pressing his body even harder against Reid's. He let his mouth move to his left, delivering a series of soft nips to Reid's jawline, working his way to Reid's right ear.

When his teeth grazed Reid's earlobe he heard a high-pitched, "Hotch!"

Reid's whole body tensed, his hands dug into Aaron's shoulders and held as Reid gasped out, "Aaron."

That was all it took to make Aaron pull his mouth away from Reid's ear and press them against his lips again, holding Reid as tightly as he could, not even caring if he was going to leave bruises.

Reid was all that mattered at the very moment. His rasped out breaths, lips mouthing Aaron's name against Aaron's mouth, strong, grounding hold of his hands on Aaron.

Beautiful, like Aaron knew he would be.

Angelic.

Precious.

_Aaron's..._

"Spencer!" he gasped out against Reid's mouth. "Spencer..."

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><p><em>Feedback is love.<em>

_Not the end._

_M._


	4. Chapter 4: Finally Enjoy

**Title: **It Had To Be You

**Warnings: **Slash. Spoilers up to the end of sixth season.

**Pairings: **Hotch/Reid

**Summary: **Sometimes you don't realize what's right in front of you until it's too late. Sometimes you realize it just in time to have it.

**Word count**: ~9000 but I might be wrong.

**DISCLAIMER**: The Mark Gordon Company, ABC Studios and CBS Paramount Network Television own Criminal Minds. I just took them out to play and I promise put them back when I'm done.

**Author's note:** Finally! I promised myself that I would finish it before my birthday and even though I'm late I'm really happy with the way it had turned out. Technically it's the end but time will tell if it's really the end because in my head this story has two sequels running around.

_Feedback is welcomed with open arms. Enjoy._

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><p><strong>Chapter four: Finally Enjoy<strong>

It shouldn't be this simple but it was. He was flying, he was crying and he was mouthing Reid's name against his lips as he tumbled over the edge himself.

How could he be so blind to not see it? How could he be so stupid to miss the obvious? He had all clues right in front of him and if he didn't happen to be at the Martin's Tavern today on Monday morning he would show up in his office with a cup of coffee, start working on the paperwork and he wouldn't discover Reid's resignation until he would be long gone from his house and Aaron's life.

But he didn't, Aaron caught him in time and he wasn't going to let Reid slip away from his grasp.

He rubbed their cheeks together spreading the moisture of his tears over their faces between continued whispers of Reid's name.

"_Spencer..."_

It was a name designed to whisper against Reid's mouth, into his ear as Aaron continued to rub their cheeks together. It was a name designed to gasp breathlessly in the ebbing throes of passion, to murmur against his neck between placing soft kisses like Aaron was doing now.

He didn't remember the last time he found himself this affectionate with someone else and so much possessive at the same time. And he still had clothes on, and in a way so did Reid.

"Bedroom," he whispered against Reid's mouth as he nuzzled their noses together in an Eskimos kiss.

"Up..." Reid gasped. "Up the damned stairs," he grunted.

Aaron allowed himself to chuckle at Reid's unhidden annoyance with his own living arrangements and the chuckle ended transferring into a very unmanly squeak when Reid found very sensitive spot at the right side of Aaron's neck and grazed his teeth against it.

At the bottom of the stairs Aaron lost his jacket and Reid lost remains of his shirt. Two steps higher Aaron's shirt was opened and lost a step above it. Another step higher left Aaron wondering how Reid managed to wrap himself around Aaron like ivy and yet was still able to loosen and remove his belt. Yet another made him wonder if his back would forgive him picking Reid up bridal style and carrying him to his bedroom for continued ravishing but he knew that he wouldn't make it to the top of the stairs.

When they reached the top of the stairs Aaron had his boxers around his knees and he managed to pull Reid's boxers to his mid-tights. Reid also had his socks on and Aaron only had the right one.

It had been a longtime since he stripped his lover at the path leading to the bedroom. It was youthful, it was flooring and it was so damned sexy.

Not that he wasn't enjoying being pressed against the wall with Reid nipping his way from his left collarbone to his right nipple, scratching slightly the back of his neck and teasing his hair with the pads of his fingertips because he was enjoying it, immensely. In fact he was enjoying himself so much that for a moment he forgot that he was supposed to get Reid out of his boxers.

"Bed," Aaron breathed out and immediately after he gasped out, "Fuck!" when Reid bit his right nipple.

"Motion supported," Reid murmured as he reached down and fondled Aaron's cock.

"Which motion?" Aaron asked dizzily. "Bed or fuck?"

"Bed, fuck, fuck in bed, fuck the bed, take your pick," Reid laughed.

"How about I drag you to the bed and we will see what we can do about the fuck part," Aaron offered.

"Mhm," Reid nodded before he scrapped his teeth against Aaron's right nipple again.

"Fuck!" Aaron gasped again.

Quickly he shook his boxers off as he dragged Reid into fully standing position, stepped out from his underwear and started maneuvering Reid towards his bedroom until he had him pressed against the door of the bedroom where he yanked Reid's boxers down and pressed himself fully against the younger man once again.

He licked his way from Reid's left shoulder to his ear and sunk his teeth into Reid's earlobe once again which elicited from Reid howled out "Ho..ouch" and a sudden change of the positions.

Aaron blinked as he realized that they were no longer standing but laying on the floor which meant that Reid opened the door to the bedroom and they tumbled in.

"You okay?" Aaron asked in concern.

"No head injury," Reid whispered. "Sore backside and elbows, I will live."

Aaron pressed a gentle kiss to Reid's lips and rubbed their half-hard cocks together as he allowed himself to run his hands through Reid's hair which led Reid into wrapping his arms around Aaron's neck and deepening the kiss.

Aaron didn't mind, not at all, in fact he wouldn't mind not getting up from the floor but he knew that at some point Reid would mind.

"Bed," Aaron mouthed against Reid's lips.

"Mhm," Reid agreed before he dove in and licked the underside of Aaron's chin before he dove lower and nipped Aaron's Adam's apple.

Pleasure surged from his neck to his brain and cock and Aaron gasped.

It took an epic amount of willpower from Aaron to not assault Reid back with his hands and mouth but to kneel up between Reid's legs, drag him into sitting position and as he stood up pulling Reid up with him.

Aaron's actions seemed to puzzle Reid for all but a moment before he let out a startled mep as Aaron sized him by the arms and pushed him on the bed.

Reid bounced up once before he propped himself on his elbows and delivered Aaron a look so heated that Aaron felt himself melting before the younger man propped both of his feet on the bed and opened his knees as he smiled bashfully.

Aaron swallowed audibly as he approached the bed and quickly flopped next to Reid who seemed surprised by his reaction.

Aaron smirked, Reid's eyebrows shot to his hairline. Aaron's smirk deepened and so did Reid's frown.

"Hotch... Aaron?" Reid asked skeptically. "What's..."

Reid didn't have a chance to finish his question as Aaron swiftly moved his hand over Reid's stomach and quickly dug his fingers into his prey, the space between the tenth and eleventh rib on the left side, area which once Reid drunkenly confessed during one of the team outings years ago was his ultimate tickling spot.

The sound which tore from Reid's throat came out as a cross of something between startled mep and chocked out howl and before Aaron registered what happened Reid flipped him fully on his back, slightly diagonally to both the headboard and the edge of the bed and he climbed onto Aaron as he held his arms by his wrists.

Aaron raised his eyebrows, Reid smirked. Aaron frowned, Reid's smirk deepened.

"So," he said impishly as he wriggled his ass over Aaron's cock making Aaron practically whine, "When I was finishing my PhD from mathematics I shared the dorm with a super nice guy named Keith, completely straight by the way," he wriggled his ass again and Aaron growled. "Keith taught me few tricks which came handy later in my life and some years ago I applied one of these..." he smirked once again.

"Why you are telling me that?" Aaron asked skeptically.

"He taught me how to translate blurps," Reid's smirk deepened even more.

"Blurps," Aaron repeated. "Blurps?"

"We attended the same party," Reid said simply, he was grinning from ear to ear. "And I believe that you blurped something along the line 'under left knee' into your beer."

_Jesus freaking Christ Reid was a lip-reader!_

Aaron's left arm was dropped but Aaron wasn't fast enough to catch the retreating hand which sneaked over his left tight, rested on his knee dipping lower. Quickly he pushed himself into sitting position just as Reid's forefinger struck... right there.

Aaron tried to growl over the whine that burst out of his throat but the sound he ended emitting sounded to his own ears like a gurgle and a very pitiful one on that.

"You little.." he growled when Reid paused possibly committing the earlier sound to memory to keep forever locked in the confines of his mind.

Aaron pushed himself up knocking Reid flat on his back with his head at the end of the bed, his knees bent and open invitingly.

Never before in his life Aaron had wanted to bed someone so badly.

His breath hitched and he swallowed audibly.

"Upper drawer," Reid whispered huskily as he propped himself on his elbows.

Aaron turned around yanking the drawer open and grabbing the first thing his hand touched.

"I'd rather not..." Reid cracked out.

Aaron looked down at his hand and he snorted, "Why do you keep toothpaste in your drawer?"

"I was running low on the one I keep with my duffel," Reid said sheepishly. "I usually leave one in the drawer so I can grab it."

Aaron smiled and he looked inside the drawer intent on picking the right items this time. He snatched small bottle of lube and a pack of condoms when something else caught his eye.

"Harlequin Medical Romance?" Aaron asked pointedly as he turned his head to look at Reid. "Reid..."

"I call it brain-bleach," Reid deadpanned. "Emily always liked them and I never understood the appeal until my therapist explained it to me. You don't read them for intellectual values, you read them so your mind can concentrate on something simple, boringly predictable but at the very same time hardly gore. They possess... I'm rambling aren't I?"

"Yes, but I think that your therapist would found it cute that you memorized her words," Aaron smirked.

"No, she wouldn't," Reid shook his head.

"I think she would," Aaron smiled.

"She would not," Reid shook his head again. "Do we really have to talk about her now?" he looked at Aaron with his big, brown eyes with that defenseless Bambi look he sometimes threw at people to perceive him as naive and pure like freshly fallen snow.

Aaron swallowed audibly and didn't realize that somehow the lube and condoms had been taken out of his hands and that he was pushed with his back against the headboard until the cold metal of the bed-frame connected with his right shoulder-blade just as cold lube was dripped on his member.

Reid's right hand curled around Aaron's cock, giving him a tantalizingly slow squeeze before the squeeze turned into a stroke.

Aaron keened, closing his eyes to bask in the sensation.

Reid chuckled into his ear, "Do you like it?"

"Yes," Aaron blurted out. "I..." another squeeze and tantalizing stroke. "I like it very, very... oh," another stroke, "much."

"You will like it even more," Reid said huskily.

Aaron could hear him slither down the bed, letting out a soft sigh before he...

"Oh, sweet lord," Aaron keened.

Lick the slit, down the vein, swirl the tongue around the entire length and lower to kiss and suck Aaron's sack, then lick up the underside of his cock... Reid knew his way around and he was so... Oh God...

Aaron's fingers curled in Reid's hair and Aaron could practically feel him smirk. It had been so long, so very long. Aaron tried to rock his hips to meet Reid's eager mouth but Reid steadied him with his hands pushing him against the bed.

Lick the slit, down the vein, swirl the tongue around the entire length and lower to kiss and suck Aaron's sack, then lick up the underside of his cock. Methodical. Eager. Affectionate. Sexy as hell and so fucking hot that Aaron found himself pawing Reid's shoulders and arms to bring Reid up into sitting position so he could kiss that sinfully sweet mouth.

Once Aaron had Reid seated over his tights he allowed his hands to wander over Reid's body. Searching, learning, wanting more, so much more. Everything.

"More?" Reid mouthed against his mouth.

"Sweet Lord more," Aaron grunted.

Reid smiled against Aaron's lips before he sucked Aaron's tongue into his mouth just as he pressed the bottle of lube into Aaron's hands before his hand moved to stroke their cocks in unison.

Aaron barely managed to retain his hold on the bottle as he continued to kiss Reid while Reid was stroking them. Only the promise of what was about to come made him open the cap and pour some of the lube on his left hand before he brought his hand to Reid's opening just as Reid rolled the condom over Aaron's cock.

He fingered Reid slowly, taking his sweet time to get the genius as relaxed as possible until Reid was breathing sultry into his ear foreign phrases while he wrapped his arms over Aaron's shoulders like ivy.

"Please, please, please," Reid groaned into Aaron's ear, finally using English, before he dipped his tongue into Aaron's ear and proceed to show Aaron what he wanted.

"How do you want it?" Aaron breathed into Reid's ear.

"I want to see you," Reid whispered. "I don't care how, I just want to see you, touch you, feel you... Oh, Hotch," the last word came out as a mewl of pleasure.

Aaron slid lower on the bed, still keeping his fingers inside Reid, earning shudders and delicious moans from Reid's mouth until Reid slid lower over Aaron's body till the head of Aaron's cock was pressing against his opening.

Aaron watched enchanted by the sight in front of him how Reid slowly slid himself over Aaron's cock until Aaron was ball's deep inside the younger man, enveloped by the tightness of Reid's passage.

It was... exquisite feeling, being so close, so close yet feeling that this close wasn't enough and wouldn't be enough until he would get closer.

Above him Reid smiled whimsically before he lowered his head and murmured against Aaron's lips, "Breath."

Aaron did. He breathed the air through his nose, smelling the delicious scent of apples before he let out his breath against Reid's lips and quickly surged upwards capturing Reid's mouth with his and bringing him closer and closer.

Reid rested his elbows against both sides of Aaron's head as he continued to kiss the older man, moving slowly on Aaron's cock.

Aaron knew the pace. Slow, sensual, drawing out each caress, each stroke, each slide... worshiping... cherishing... It had been so long, so long, so fucking long and it was happening, really happening.

In and out. In and out. Reid was everywhere, above him, around him, crawling within Aaron's body, Aaron's soul just as much as Aaron was crawling into his.

"Spencer," Aaron whispered against Reid's lips. "Spencer, oh God, Spencer."

"Yes," Reid whispered. "So close, so close, Aaron," he whimpered.

"Come for me," Aaron said wistfully. "Come for me Spencer. I need to see you."

Reid pushed himself up on his elbows as he continued to rock on Aaron's cock until a delicious shudder passed over him and the muscles over Aaron's cock squeezed so hard that his orgasm was ripped out of Aaron and left him so dizzy that his vision swam.

When his vision focused again he was laying flat on his back, panting heavily, his breath was ruffling the curls of Reid's hair while Reid was panting into his neck.

"That..." Aaron started. "That was..."

"Yeah," Reid murmured sleepily as he slid down from Aaron's body to his side and curled around Aaron.

Aaron wrapped his arm around Reid and he pressed a soft kiss to Reid's forehead before he closed his eyes and allowed the peacefulness to lull him into sleep.

**It Had To Be You**

When Aaron woke up he found himself wrapped around warm, lean body that smelt of apples, sex and... coffee?

He cracked his right eye open and caught the sight of brown curls before his vision fixed on the tray that was standing on the top of a bedside table.

He smiled to himself, it had been so long since he had a breakfast in bed, even longer since he had one in the company of his lover.

"You didn't have to," Aaron whispered into Reid's hair.

"Haf to?" Reid murmured sleepily before he turned slight so he was looking at Aaron.

"Breakfast," Aaron clarified. "You didn't have to make it."

"I didn't," Reid answered simply. "I smell coffee," he stated and he quickly looked from Aaron then to the tray on the bedside table. "Did you make breakfast?"

"No," Aaron answered as he looked again at the tray.

It was there. It held two cups filled with steaming coffee and a plate with croissants on them. He knew that he didn't make it and if neither did Reid then who else could?

Reid sat up on the bed before he backed himself against the headboard just as Aaron sat up and leaned against the pillows next to Reid. Reid took the tray from the table and placed it on the bed. Only when the tray was laying on the bed Aaron saw a small note sticking out from under the one of the coffee cups. It read:

_Finally! Enjoy!_

It was peculiar, very peculiar and Aaron could help but find part of the message familiar.

"I..." Reid started. "I know finally."

"I know enjoy," Aaron admitted. "That shrink friend of yours...?"

"Cameron. Jessica?" Reid asked.

Aaron nodded, finally was written in Jessica's handwriting.

"Cameron and Jessica," Reid muttered. "So that's why I didn't get to meet the girlfriend yet. Damned lesbians."

"I wouldn't complain," Aaron chuckled. "Though at some point I will start freaking out that one, or both of them saw us naked but I can forgive them that."

"Because they brought us coffee and breakfast?" Reid asked cheekily.

"That too, I can forgive them because whatever mad plan hatched in their heads had worked so I'm going to take a high road now along with the good advice," Aaron said as reached for a croissant and brought it to Reid's lips. "I'm going to finally enjoy feeding my lover with good breakfast."

Reid smiled before he nibbled on the croissant.

**The Not Really End**

**But For Now **

**The End**

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><p><em>Feedback is Love<em>

_M._


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